Saturday, January 28, 2017








JESUS FREAKS AND DONALD TRUMP

When I was young, immature, and impressionable; searching for my place in the universe and wondering about the meaning of life, I joined a religious cult.  I became a “Jesus freak”.  This was in the early 1970’s when the word “freak” was a compliment – it referred to young hippie-types who not only dressed in bell bottoms and beads, but drifted happily through days of unreality, irresponsibility, and rebellion to their upbringing.  Usually funded by dad’s good job, because most of the freaks were middle and upper class kids who had been raised in comfort by a stay-at-home-mom and in their late teens realized the luxury of choosing to be hippies, to turn their backs on their backgrounds and goof off in college, or join communes in the country, raise their own vegetables and listen to a new kind of music.  Drugs were usually part of the picture, but not always.  Sometimes experimentation leaned toward non-drug experiences, such as religion, incense, meditation and other consciousness-altering pursuits. The belief that turning on one’s background was necessary for a larger purpose spread like a virus.  The anti-war movement had Vietnam and the draft to coalesce around and firm up this anti-establishment movement.

In college I drank too much, smoked cigarettes and pot, wore the same pair of hip-hugger jeans for days at a time and no makeup.  I never carried an anti-war sign – coming from a military family my dad had warned me on pain of death if I dared.  But I kinda liked calling myself a hippie. Then at some point I became a “Jesus freak,” but luckily for only a short time. 

Now to my point.  The important word here is “short”.  Why does that matter?  Because in retrospect I can expertly speak to how easily and quickly a person can become a firm believer in something, even when it is in opposition to everything one was taught or believed previously.  Using the words “Trump” and “brainwashing” is offensive; many will stop reading right here, but there is no other appropriate word.  I could use the lesser known term “Stockholm Syndrome” which applies to what happens when a person is kidnapped, isolated from his own world, comes to rely on captors for sustenance and safety, and eventually accepts the positions, beliefs and actions of one’s captors.  At any rate, this is what happened to me when I joined them, and I see parallels with Donald Trump today.

This is how they got me:  First, I was vulnerable; having just been dumped by a boyfriend.  Then, I was “friended” by a charismatic girl who carried a worn paperback King James Bible around all the time, and made notes and underlined passages and shared advice from it constantly.  Her joy was infectious.  I wanted to feel that joy, and my Catholic upbringing had never supplied such happiness.  I wanted to belong somewhere, be accepted somewhere, be loved somewhere, as she seemed to be.  She invited me to a meeting.  The meeting took place at a ministry group home and was so full of people who were loving, understanding, and accepting I was immediately seduced, as all the young people in that place had been before me.  They all had stories like mine – depression, too much unhealthy pursuits, not loved enough by anyone.  I learned that there was a national leader in another state who had started this church, and God had seen to it that this holy refuge had grown exponentially in only a few years on college campuses all across the country.

It was quick, insidious, this seduction.  It wasn’t until I had attended four or five meetings in a row that they told me I must begin to “spread the Word”, cut off all “nonbeliever” friendships and family and devote myself to God and The Word. Any doubts I expressed were smoothly explained away:  “Don’t listen.  Satan knows you have found the Way, and he will do whatever it takes to get you away from us.  Don’t listen.”  I saw signs in my daily life that seemed to prove this; everything began to appear in a God vs. Satan battle, from difficulty getting to a meeting (“Satan doesn’t want you here!”) , to “God help me get a parking spot close to the store.  Hey thanks!”  As I sank deeper and deeper, with their constant influence over each and ever day, I took my newfound religion home and attempted to convert my family.  Of course they didn’t take me seriously, and that drove me further toward the ministry group.  I chose them over my family, and broke financial ties.  I took out a loan to finish my education.  I had found my new path.

So here is where Trump is becoming leader of a cult.  His appeal originated with charm, charisma and celebrity, his tell-it-like-it-is rudeness.  He made us chuckle and say “attaboy!”.  It snowballed into something no one could stop.  He made it okay to be outspokenly vulgar and mean, and that permission spread like a virus.  Now he is in the most powerful position in the world, and he is attempting to squash the free press, to say “don’t listen to them, that isn’t true.  The only truth is what I say” – and half of what he says is provably, obviously, false.  This is dangerous.  His disturbed view of the world is permeating and solidifying his supporters, to the point where they will only get their information and beliefs from his mouth and his tweets. The rest of us are like my parents were when I tried to convince them they were Satan trying to keep me from God:  they must have been horrified, asking themselves, how do we stop this?

In my story, it was stopped by what I believe was an act of God.  I was living in off-campus housing after divorcing from my parents and suddenly, one morning, my house burned down.  My roommates and my cat survived, but now I had no place to live, no clothes, no school supplies, no coat for the winter.  The ministry insisted that this was clearly the work of Satan, and that I must immediately move into their group house, to be with them and be safe.  What a dilemma!  My parents said, “Come home.”  I chose home.

 That decision took me away from the constant brainwashing of the Bible group, and within weeks, I was myself again, back in the real world.  They called me repeatedly, begging me to return, telling me Satan had me in his grip.  It scared me.  I wasn’t at all sure they were wrong.  Of course my parents welcomed me back, showed me love, replaced all my things, and eventually paid off my school loan.  I graduated, got a job, and settled into a normal kind of life, returning to Catholocism, which is still my church today.

Years later, the ministry went belly-up, the leader revealed to be a sexual abuser, and it all faded away.  I’ve often wondered about the thousands of kids who had been pulled into its influence.  Five years ago I reconnected with that friend who had brought me into the ministry.  She had left decades before as well, and returned to the church of her childhood.  We talked for hours about how stupid we were.  How mistaken.  We laughed about it, and thanked God we had escaped.

Will Americans feel the same way when the Trump era ends?



Saturday, January 7, 2017

Man's Best Friend





Man’s Best Friend

I had a dream last night that we decided to get a dog.  A new dog.  We looked at each other and said, “Yes, we are ready.  Let’s go ahead and do it.” 

Here’s the problem:  last summer we had to watch the suffering and passing of another canine.  She was beloved; that kind, brilliant brindle half-lab-half-boxer Anastasia, who was originally (in 2002) our son Brendan’s rescue puppy.  Now Brendan and Anastasia are both gone, and the fresh grief of this is almost unbearable. 

When we fall in love with a dog, we know we will not have him forever; dog’s lives are short.  But that knowledge only reminds us that human lives are short as well.  Philosophical types may say that is good for us; to be reminded of that fact which we all try not to think about most of the time.  “Oh, very young, what will you leave us this time?  You’re only dancing on this earth for a short while.” (to lift poetry from Cat Stevens, now a Muslim with a different name).  Yes, I prefer to not think on this as well, especially since my son died just after his 30th birthday….so very young.  Can I possibly live through the short life of another dog? 

My heart is not that strong, and here is how I know:  In my dream, we got a big fluffy golden retriever.  And then that animal began to suffer, dying.  The pain was fresh.  I awakened before the end.

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