IT TAKES A VILLAGE.....

(an excerpt from

"Swimming Lessons:  a mother's tale of navigating the mental illness tide")

It takes a Village

It is true that it takes a village to raise a child.  This is not some hippie socialist idea about communes, state daycare, and sister wives.  It doesn’t have to mean we are responsible for other people’s children, nor is it a license to stick one’s nose into other families’ business, but it does mean that our community does affect how a child develops.  As stated earlier, parents have limited control over how their child becomes himself, in part this is due to the pervasiveness of outside influences.  Teachers, babysitters, coaches, clergy, peers, other parents -- all carry some weight that affect a child’s growth.

Parenting classes, teacher training, and school health curricula should include the latest information from the mental health field, and the actions that can be taken.  Even children on the playground could benefit from age-appropriate knowledge.  Middle school is not too early to understand what “if you see something, say something” could mean in this context.  A program about mental health could be useful and help sidetrack the tendency to bully or tease another student who seems different.

We all should have some knowledge about early signs of emotional disturbance, so that efforts at intervention can be supported.  We all should keep up with the research into new and better treatments for the youngest of our mentally ill.  This must happen before these children’s illnesses worsen due to their experiences of becoming outcasts and the targets of bullies.  The behaviors of a child who is viewed as “odd” can start an ever-growing and deepening reaction on the part of peers, teachers or family members that lead to the child reacting in even more odd ways, and warping his ability to grow up in a healthy way.  If the “village” has some understanding about this and engages in positive approaches, a child who is perceived as “different” has a better chance of embracing instead of running from his uniqueness.